The day Mike and I got married, I didn’t really know what our life would hold… I just knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him… and then, life happened. It took twists and turns and bumps and detours I never planned on.
With every pregnancy, new baby, different job, new business, homeschooling year, summer break, move to a different city, online college courses, change of career, residency, start of a church, miscarriage, child getting married, move to a different state, and more miscarriages… it seemed like we were always in some “phase of life” I was waiting to pass…
Sooooo many times I would say or think…
- “When this is over…
- things will slow down…”
- it won’t hurt so much…”
- I’ll be okay…”
- we’ll finally be free…”
- we’ll have more time…”
- the house will be clean…”
- we’ll be okay…”
- we’ll laugh more…”
- it will be better…”
- I’ll do differently next time…”
- it will be okay…”
It seemed like with every phase I looked forward to ending, I just found myself in another one… and another… and another and while I was spending time consumed by just getting by and making it through another transition, moments were passing and each one became a part of my story.
While I was busy trying to skip over the bad moments… the trials… and all the difficulties, I was missing every good moment because I was focusing on just getting to the next, and when your only goal in life becomes just making it through, you’re going to miss important moments AND the memories you create won’t necessarily be ones you want.
I got to the point where I didn’t want my life to be one big good intention, full of regrets. I was sick of settling. I didn’t want to get to the end of my life and have my children talk of “all the things mom wished she’d done…” and I realized if I didn’t have a schedule to keep me focused, some of the best and most important things would fall to the wayside… every time.
THIS TOO, SHALL PASS
Each day is filled with moments (1440 minutes to be exact), and what you choose to do with those moments is largely up to you. The kind of legacy you leave behind is the result of where you spent your time. You can’t always control everything that happens, but if things in your life are bad… it’s up to YOU to make it better… whether that’s by changing your circumstances, or your attitude.
Days don’t seem to drag on when you live your life doing things that you find value and purpose in… and there’s even hope in the midst of a struggle when you’re doing something you believe in.
What does YOUR life look like based on the moments you put together every day? If you don’t like it, you’re the only one who can change it. If there’s little you can change physically at this moment, you might need to make more time to be spiritually or mentally healthy through your current season.
SET YOUR FOUNDATION
Creating a life you love, begins with a place you love to live in… and a schedule that represents and revolves around what’s important to you, as well as what you want to accomplish, can help you change both your circumstances and your attitude and help you look forward to the future with hope.
If you want to Turn Your House Into a Home, create a place you love to live in, and a legacy you’ll be proud to leave behind, it has to be the home YOU CREATE out of your love, commitment, values, beliefs, and effort. This isn’t about how someone else’s home looks like or what someone else is doing.You need to create a life that is best for YOU and the heartbeat of the people living in YOUR home.
It took me years to be okay with being me… don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t keep trying to do what someone else is doing, feeling like a failure cuz you can’t make their life work for you. Stop trying to live a life you were never meant to live! Set the foundation for a simple.crazy.good.life that suits YOU!
Your house can more than where you wake up, eat, or fall sleep… it can be a place of refuge when the rest of the world is falling apart… a place where there’s fun, laughter, love, understanding, simplicity, order, inspiration, creativity, acceptance, and peace. Stop wishing things were different and start loving it through whatever it currently is.
Create a schedule you can live with! Remember, your schedule isn’t the goal… your dream is. Your schedule is there to help you “budget” your time so you can turn your dream into a reality, and help you change your view and focus on what you need to be doing right now to put the time and effort into that dream, and still continue to do the other things that are important to you and need to get done.
Review your “PurposeFULL Time” worksheet list and fill it in on your new Home Schedule worksheet. If you’ve went through all 5 prior steps, this new schedule should not only be filled with purpose, but reflect what is most important to you, give priority to five crucial areas of your life (your health, your relationships, your surroundings, your needs, and your impact), remove all the excess stuff you don’t need, and help you focus on your target of creating a home!
During your first week, circle any time blocks that are having “issues”. Don’t get stressed, frustrated, or disappointed if there are struggles. Things worth having are worth fighting for, and turning your house into a home is definitely worth it! At the end your “beta week”, sit back down with your schedule and look over what issues you had, why you had them, and what changes need to be made. The following are a few that I’ve experienced in the past when making a new schedule:
- Issue: Not enough time.
- Question: Are you trying to do too much?
- Answer: Remove some things (for now, or permanently). Remember you’re making a schedule that will work for now, so if things aren’t going well (even if it’s the heart of the kids) then make THAT a priority and put it into the schedule (and remove something else). As things get better, you can change the schedule. Change with children is inevitable… accept it and embrace it!!! You can do this!
- Problem: Tired, exhausted, crabby.
- Question: Are you getting enough sleep?
- Answer: Get more sleep! Start by removing things you don’t need to be doing, or change what time you’re waking up or going to bed. I tried for years to get up at 5am because I thought that was what a “good wife/mom” does, but I was crabby by 10am, falling asleep by noon, and I was ruining my most productive time in the evening after the little kids were in bed. Make your schedule work for you!
- Issue: People in your house struggling
- Question: Are you expecting too much?
- Answer: This schedule is new to everyone. Don’t expect everything to fall into place and be perfect right away. It’s going to take some time (especially for little ones). Don’t get discouraged! Lower your expectations, spend more time with the people struggling, and/or schedule some time for you (and everyone else in the house) to be free and BE CONSISTENT! Don’t give up and don’t give in (I’m convinced they sense weakness…)!
- Issue: The house is falling apart.
- Question: Are you getting the time you need to put your home back together?
- Answer: You’re house didn’t get the way it is in one day, and it’s not gonna get better in one day either. This is a process, and slow and steady will win this race. Some days you’ll get more steps… other days, you may need to take a “time out”. You’re turning your house into a home one step at a time, so just keep moving forward! You can do this! If you need more time to get your home in order, then figure out what you’ll need to take out of your current schedule to make more time to turn your house into a home.
- Issue: “I created a schedule… NOW WHAT?!”
- Answer: It’s time to DECLUTTER!
CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve completed all the steps in PART 1: SCHEDULE! That’s somethin’ to celebrate! Get your nails done, take your spouse out to eat, have your favorite beverage in front of the fireplace alone or out on the patio (depending on the weather). Do something to celebrate this win, and then… keep moving forward to DECLUTTER your home!
YOUR NEXT STEP… Seeing Clutter for What it Really Is