Yesterday, Mike and I (along with our 19 year old son) got fingerprinted to complete our criminal background checks… moving us one step closer to holding our baby(ies)! It’s another thing crossed off the long “to-do” checklist that has become a daily focus in our lives since our adoption announcement one month ago.
Our next step is to complete a Home Study before moving forward any further. However, BEFORE the Home Study interviews can even begin, criminal background checks, medical exams, CPR certification, tax forms, and proof of employment, health insurance, marriage, divorce, birth (for all children in the house), and MANY hours of paperwork with facts, values, parenting beliefs, and future dreams ALL must be finished and turned into our Home Study Provider.
Managing our “good kinda crazy” has proven to be a learning and growing process as we decide what to say “no” to for now in order to accomplish what is most important in our life… which includes pursuing our dream to adopt. There are still many things to occur before we’re holding our baby(ies) in our arms… but if I’m brutally honest, it’s not the checklist that is daunting for me most days…
When we first started contemplating adoption, we wrestled with the cost AND how we could pull it off. I told God every reason why it might not work financially… how people might not want to support a couple with a bunch of kids already… and how it might be too difficult for us to pull this off…
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. ~Paulo Coelho
I HATE FEAR… IT SUCKS… like, literally. It sucks the life right out of you… and where there is MORE fear, there will always be…
- less hope
- less joy
- less contentment
- less risk
- less thrill
- less benefit
- less courage
- less freedom
- less generosity
- and less trust in God.
Fear stops you in your tracks and prevents any forward movement. It controls your mind, rules your emotions, destroys your beliefs, and determines your actions. Fear is a clutter that ruins your heart, mind, and soul and turns you into someone you were never meant to be. It convinces us that you can’t… you shouldn’t… and that you’re better off if you don’t. It feeds off all the “what if’s” you can muster and grows EVERY TIME you refuse to try.
I wish I could say that I’ve been strong and brave and completely trusting of God’s timing and provision throughout this entire process so far… but I haven’t. There have been moments when fear has crept into the deepest parts of my heart and taken my thoughts captive. I could feel myself hesitate… start to worry… begin to doubt… and slowly loose hope, and because fear and I have went a few rounds in the ring before, I know when fear is at it’s strongest… I am at my weakest and I’ve gotta choice to make… will I fear MORE, or fear LESS?
TAKING DOWN FEAR
So, whenever I’m faced with an “impossible” task (something I know doesn’t seem possible given the current circumstances I can see or comprehend) and fear is fighting to take me down, I gotta make myself STOP letting fear get the best of me, and ask myself two questions…
- What is standing in my way? The cost of adoption
- What could happen if it were removed? Um… we would be holding our baby(ies) in our arms!
By answering these two questions, I’m able to focus on the possibility… and where there is possibility, there is hope… and hope kills fear.
FEAR LESS WARRIORS
Hope and fear cannot co-exist, so in order to be fearLESS, you need to become hopeFULL that things will turn around… that something good will come out of this… that better days are ahead… that someone wants to help… and that “God’s got this.”
To be strong (at your best emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually), you must be fearless… and, if you want to be fearless… you need to fear LESS. You may not always be able to control your situation, but you can decide how you will respond. Only you can decide if you’re gonna be ruled by fear, or if you’re gonna be different than every other normal person in the world.
- Normal people don’t face their fears…
- Normal people don’t break the rules…
- Normal people don’t inspire people…
- Normal people don’t change the world…
- Normal people don’t stand out…
- Normal people don’t take chances…
Normal people don’t give more… feel more… dream more… do more… or become more than they ever thought possible because normal people are too fearFULL. The truth is… normal people die with all sorts of regrets.
We weren’t created to be “normal”. We’re not supposed to blend in… we were made to stand out and live FEARLESS lives, unencumbered by the baggage of this world. Fear only makes us less… makes us weak… and turns us mean. God didn’t give us a spirit of fear… instead, we CHOOSE it and allow it to saturate our life and live paralyzed from it.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. ~Mark Twain
Are you living your life in a way that is worth telling stories about? If not, maybe it’s time to try something new… quit being normal and start being “weird”… start doing some things that are worth talking about and remembering.
I know that when I look back on the past 24 years I’ve known Mike, some of the greatest and scariest moments in our life have been one in the same. I don’t know how this part of our family’s story will turn out as we continue to walk out this road to adoption. I have no idea what’s going to happen along the way, or how long it will take… but I have a choice, and I know that I will never benefit from choosing to spend my time in fear. Fear replaces hope… and where there is no hope, there is death… and I don’t know ’boutchu… but that ain’t how I’m goin’ down!
We are all meant to shine… and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson
Who are you NOT to be fearless? God can take the most unlikely, unsure, insecure, and fearful people, and do the most unimaginable, crazy, amazing, and impossible things… and maybe this part of your story is more about what GOD CAN do than what YOU CAN’T.
Choose to fear LESS and stand out in a world full of normal people too afraid to take a risk. Anything worth having in life… is ALWAYS worth the fight. Don’t allow your fears to hold you back another day… it’s time to shine!
What areas of your life do YOU need to fear LESS? Where has fear put shackles around our feet… a noose around our neck… or a cloud above our head? Where have you been hesitating, worrying, doubting, or giving up hope?
Grab a piece of paper and write down every fear that has been controlling your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and holding you back from living a good kinda crazy life that stands out, takes a risk, and impacts the world long after you’ve left it! Writing them down will help you not only see them for what they are, but also remind you that your FIGHT is worth it! It’s time to fear LESS and live more!0