My husband has done many things since he entered the workforce world; pizza maker, burger-flipper, apartment manager, snow-plower, pawnbroker, welder, car painter, councilman, worship leader, decorative concrete stamper, college student, fundraiser, manager, business owner, entrepreneur, speaker, church planter, and pastor are just a few… and while he’s had quite the variety of different jobs, one thing is the same about every single one… regardless of what he was ever getting paid to do, NONE OF HE DID was ever who he was.
A job is not who a person is… it is simply what one does to pay for the things they feel are “needed” for them to live the type of lifestyle they believe is necessary.
It’s unfortunate (and wrong) that our identities are often tied up in our work… and for a man, this can make a break him if he can’t see past it. What he does for work, doesn’t make him any more or any less of a man. BUT, without a wife constantly reminding him of that truth, he can easily got caught up in what he’s doing and find his worth (or lack thereof) in his job.
Over seventeen years ago, Mike hit a place in life where he was feeling “empty” and “restless”. I started praying for God to reveal how I could be a help to my husband, and as prepared as I thought I was for what God might say, I was more than a LITTLE surprised when He said my husband would speak in front of people because Mike was literally terrified of speaking in front of big crowds. Yeah… like pass out kind of terrified…
I began to pray more frequently knowing that if this was ever gonna happen, there was some serious softening of Mike’s heart that was needed first. See, being a pastor/speaker would have been the LAST thing on Mike’s “Things I could see possibly see myself MAYBE doing SOMEday list”… in fact, it was more like the FIRST thing on the “HELL NO! list”!
When the time finally came that Mike felt like God was leading him to pursue ministry, because I’d already been praying, I was able to encourage him in what God was asking Him to do, in a way I may not have been able to otherwise.
There were MANY aspects Mike struggled with… one of them being he would need to go to college… but he really couldn’t get past the whole speaking in front of people thing. More than anything, it was just too mind-blowing and ridiculous for Mike to comprehend becoming a pastor and starting a church after he’d spent most of his life hating both.
Honestly, had it not been for me praying for God to help me see my husband through HIS eyes… I don’t know what would have happened. I knew my husband had a big task ahead of him, and if he was gonna succeed, he was gonna need me reminding him of who he was… a man who was willing to do what others might not in order to do whatever God asked to impact lives.
PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE
God can work through anyone, anywhere, at anytime… it doesn’t matter who, where, or when it is… they just need to be willing and open to what God says. God will use every experience to do something great in the life of your husband… but he will struggle if his own doubt is louder than his wife’s assurance.
Your husband needs to know…
- …whatever he puts his hands to each day, you want to be in his arms at the end of the day.
- …God has plans for him that only he can accomplish.
- …he is strong enough, smart enough, and talented enough to do exactly what God wants to do through him.
- …his worth in your life is great.
What you see in your husband will affect who he becomes as a man… or doesn’t. God has a plan for what your husband becomes, and regardless of whether you bring home a paycheck or not, the support you show your husband will move him to greater things.
Ask God what your husband is supposed to be doing so you can see the good in who he is every day and fully support him in whatever God is calling him to because no matter what your husband puts his hands to each day, your encouragement will not only help him accomplish it, but help him fulfill his purpose.
It’s easier to be loving, forgiving and less disappointed with your husband when you’re focusing on his good qualities, so grab a piece of paper and pencil (or the journal you’re keeping throughout The Warrior Wife), and make a list of all the things your husband has done for you, your family, and others. Some ideas might include:
- changes the oil or takes care of the vehicle
- mows the lawn
- sings you songs
- writes poetry
- puts his arm around you when you’re in public
- changes poopy diapers
- provides for your family
- has coffee with you
- gives generously to others
- pursues God will for his life
Continue to add to it as you think of more things throughout The Warrior Wife and keep it available to help you remember the great qualities in your Beloved the next time you’re struggling with something he’s done (or hasn’t).
time to connect…
Set some time aside to spend alone together and tell him something you’re thankful for that he does with his hands. Take a picture of his hands and hang it in a place you’ll see frequently to remind you to thank God for all your husband’s already done, and all that God has planned for him yet to accomplish (and remind you to continually pray to be the wife he needs to encourage him to do it)!
thank You for the things my husband has created with his hands. Thank you for what he’s given to our family through his provision. Continue to bless the work of his hands in mighty ways so his impact will echo long after he’s left this world.
May he find purpose in what he does, knowing You have a purpose for Him. Help me to see and support that at all times so he will never waver in what You have called him to do, and may I lovingly challenge him to never settle for anything less than what You have created him to be and do.
Develop his skills so he will become increasingly valuable, and show me new ways I can encourage him. I never want to stand in the way of the plan You have for him or the ways in which You choose to make it happen. May he will never be more focused on money more than his purpose, and may he never find more profit in what the world values from the work You ask of Him. May he find his worth in You alone, and when he looks in my eyes, may he see what a treasure he is to me. In the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.
YOUR NEXT STEP… coming soon!
*This post is from the series, The Warrior Wife. If you’re just joining, please read How to Create a Great Marriage to begin your fight for a better marriage!